Guys who don’t get the #femdom #lifestyle

 

 

If a guy wants to live the lifestyle, he will do well to get some introductory training from a prodomme because:

• an experienced prodomme is more likely to ease him into the lifestyle so he doesn’t freak out
• a prodomme will educate him on rituals and protocols so he doesn’t waste time getting adapted to the requirements of his life partner
• a prodomme will get him into the habit of communicating his needs and desires to his dominant
• a prodomme will help him transition from his fantasies to realities and learn what his hard and soft limits are
• a prodomme is likely to put up with initial protests and reservations if rewarded sufficiently
• he will find out what it is really like to live the lifestyle, if only for a short period
• he can discuss his anxiety or difficulties with many experienced prodommes
• he can back out of the arrangement without any effects on his relationship to his partner
• it will give a guy time to think over what he really wants for a lifetime with his partner

 

Despite these advantages, there are guys who seem ill-fitted for the opportunity to learn about and experience the lifestyle. As an example, a prodomme recently gave notice to one of her trainees (slave-4) as specified in their contract. In the post she lists a number of times where he screwed up.  Many of the infractions seem minor in the greater scheme of things, but she lists the most offensive:

 

When you asked to be trained as a house slave, I assumed the duty as your training Mistress, and it now befalls me to call you to task. You seem to be under the delusion that your tribute money is enough to buy you the title of slave, like country club dues.  A position that many truly useful, devoted slaves would no doubt find insulting.

It seems slave-4 believes his training was simply a typical femdom session where he could goof off and pay his way out.

Here is the crucial difference between prodomme sessions and lifestyle arrangements. When a guy books a session with a prodomme, he enters into a provider-client transaction; he pays for a certain set of services that is provided. He can modify it as it goes along if the provider agrees to it and as he continues to pay for the additional service. Basically, money controls the direction of the session as long as it is within the limits of service(s) that provider and client have agreed to.

In lifestyle relationships, the situation is much different. Here two (or more in a poly) people enter into an arrangement that takes into account the roles and personalities of each. Generally, the roles are some mix of “house slave”, “maid”, “chauffer”, “butler”, “PA”, “love slave”, “pet”, “sissy”, “wife”, etc. Each of these roles has expected behaviors. Guys can find prodommes who are willing to train them for these roles. When a guy enters into a lifestyle role, he cannot negotiate it as he does in the provider-client relationship he might have with a prodomme.

More importantly, a guy can book any number of sessions with a prodomme just for his pleasure and gratification. He can resume his usual life when the session is over. The prodomme to him may be nothing more than a service provider.

In the lifestyle arrangement, a guy has to accept his fundamental role of submission to his dominant for life, not just when he wants to buy a “service”. He has to commit to a lifetime relationship with his partner and accept her for who she is.

Sadly, some guys have a fantasy of a “lifestyle” that they enter into only when they want. There are many prodommes who will go along with this as long as the price is right. What’s missing is that the guy will never realize submission and the total power exchange (TPE) that goes along with the #lifestyle