Flash Fiction Friday A Dish Best Served Cold.

dave94015:

tell his mother…she nailed it!

Originally posted on Adventures of a Word Wytch:

bored

He peeled her leather skirt down with his teeth. Next her panties. She spread her legs wide and he began to tongue her sweet wet pussy. As she began to arch in orgasm, she grabbed his head and held him tight.

Almost there… almost…”

Then the doorbell rang. He looked towards the door and pleaded with his eyes to answer it. She nodded.

“Don’t take too long.”

He shook his head no, wiped his mouth and ran for the door.

She looked around and decided to sit on his ‘oh so pristine couch’. Stretching out her legs, she leaned back. “Waiting…” She drummed her fingers. She thought of watching TV, hoping that the noise would bring him back.

The clock ticked. She looked up and saw that it had been fifteen minutes. She growled under her breath. “He is so going to pay for this. My ass is…

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Would you be bored…?

dave94015:

A Dom(me) needs his/her sub as much as a sub needs a Dom(me)

Originally posted on Understanding Flutterby:

If I simply knelt at your feet, humble, quiescent?
No fanfare, no fight, no brat, no personality
Just me.

Not whole, not broken,
not any of those things which seek to beguile.
Just passive.
Just simple.
No bullshit.
Just me.

“You’d be bored if I just gave in” I say, waiting, gauging.
But I already know your response.
So I fight, I brat, my personality comes to the fore.
What starts as a dance becomes a game, becomes a fight,
and ultimately becomes frustration.
And within that I’m suddenly lost.

No direction, adrift, no anchor to cling to.
A submissive left to her own devices
to self destruct.

<pause>
Self destruct.
Such a romantic notion of angst and maelstrom.
Wild and untamed.
</pause>

Battered, bruised, the reality is far less enchanting.
I’m tired,
I cannot always fight,
I cannot always be what it is I think you wish me to…

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His

dave94015:

Holding her to him
It is both tender
And possessive act

Originally posted on Siren Whispers:

photo

He holds her close

His hands gripping her waist

And the back of her head

Holding her to him

It is both tender

And possessive act

He kisses her forehead

An affectionate gesture

Showing her that he cares

That she is special to him

She is his

Art by Jack Vettriano

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A Solstice Gift for You

dave94015:

Not sure where to find it…but it’s free for a while!

Originally posted on Lady Smut:

My wee erotic romance sampler FourPlay will be free over the weekend. Four short super-steamy stories for free (and regularly only 99¢/77p so it’s not breaking the bank at full price). If you’ve wanted to give a new author a try, here’s a great way to give me a read without any risk.

Let us celebrate the return of the light and with it hope for the coming spring!

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Poly Married With Children and The Church of Monogamy

dave94015:

There is still great opposition about polyamory with children involved. Maybe a sitcom like Modern Family will soften the prejudice.

Originally posted on Loving Without Boundaries:

Cheers Sexy People,

Screen Shot 2014-06-30 at 3.39.18 PMI have had quite the busy work, personal and poly life lately, my dear friends. There is much upheaval, excitement, momentum and sweet moments. For a peek into my poly as well as extended life, here are some highlights:

  1. My live-in boyfriend and I threw my husband a birthday party at our house, which was a huge success. One sweet moment for me was spending the day with my beau running around collecting food and other items needed for the party together, then at one point, he went on his own and got more supplies including flowers to make the house look nice. Seeing him walk in with groceries and flowers for my husband’s party just melted my heart. Then watching my husband open up gifts from myself, my beau as well as his latest squeeze… more priceless moments. Then my husband’s girlfriend insisting that she man…

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Rules of engagement in kink?

Do bdsm relationships need an etiquette? Participants in bdsm negotiate before they engage in play. There are explicit and unspoken rules that are used in play parties. Many experienced in bdsm lifestyles maintain a thorough communication about aspects of the bdsm activity. Discussions about dealing with outsiders center around the hierarchy of the bdsm relationship (who is master/dom, who is slave to who, etc…)  and the type of role they expect with the new member. In my experience, there are only limited discussions about interpersonal relationships.  How are relationships with outsiders  communicated in bdsm ones?

Kitty Chambliss talks about communication styles in polyamory:

it can be beneficial to distinguish between 3 styles of communication:

a) Open Awareness
b) Open Approval
c) Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

In Open Awareness, if you have sex with a new partner, you are agreeing to make your other partners aware of it as soon as it is convenient…

For Open Approval, that means that you need to ask PERMISSION from your partners BEFORE any sex happens with new partners…

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is pretty obvious. The relationship is consensually “open” but neither party wants to hear the gory details of their partner’s sex-capades

http://polytalkbykitty.wordpress.com/2013/04/30/open-awareness-vs-open-approval-and-fun-with-poly-terms/

Should one have a communication agreement with your partners before engaging in bdsm with outsiders?

Chambliss communicated to me privately:

two kink-friendly people who are in a relationship. Let’s say for example, they don’t even have physical sex with each other, but they like to enjoy bdsm type of activities, such as being tied up. If they choose to open their relationship to other people (versus be monogamous and only be emotionally  and physically intimate — in this case meaning tie each other up to get each other off — with only each other), they have a choice as to how to allow other people to enter their arrangement (thus they could then have a “polyamorous” arrangement by entertaining several kink relationships in tandem). Again, as an example, Open Awareness would mean, one person could get tied up by a new person, but doesn’t have to inform their original partner until soon after this occurs (versus getting prior approval BEFORE doing this, which would be Open Approval).

To many, bdsm relationships are treated similarly to polyamorous ones.

The critical thing is to ensure that all the parties know exactly what is expected of them. The roles have to be clearly defined and there must be complete honesty in everything that happens. Everyone must be able to share their feelings and thoughts as they happen and prevent any bad feelings from simmering and damaging the dynamic. A submissive in a relationship with a dominant and multiple other submissives should know that all of the submissives are important and that in the end it is a privilege to serve a dominant who provides for everyone. The moment jealousy and entitlement interferes, the groups tend to break up, even when all involved cared about each other. Submission in a polyamorous situation takes even more strength than submission to one does

http://voices.yahoo.com/bdsm-101-polyamory-bdsm-expect-as-submissive-1803415.html

If you are thinking about involving playmates or bringing on a permanent new equal as a 3rd, you have to have ground rules that all will agree to and follow. This is very important to make sure that everyone feels equal and included in all dynamics of the relationship. Open and Honest communication between all parties is a must. There can be no secrets. If you are feeling any type of negative feelings, you should tell your Dominant first and then the partner with whom you have the negative feelings as soon as possible. If you don’t, it will just fester and grow until a big blow up occurs…

Be careful in picking the potential playmate/new addition. Remember, there are people out there that are very deceptive and will pretend to be one way, until they get into the relationship, then slowly try to push you apart from your Dominant. Before inviting anyone to join you, make sure you and your Dominant have deep talks about the new person and lay all of your feelings, wants, needs, desires and expectations on the table. Make sure you are very sure and have given a lot of time into getting to know the new person before allowing them closer into your family.

http://bdsmunveiled.blogspot.com/2013/03/polyamory-in-bdsm.html#ixzz2ZQfu5K1k

 

Interpersonal relationships in bdsm are often based on roles.

In BDSM relationships and dynamics, each person has a specific set of roles, a clearly defined status, and each person knows what is expected of them and what to expect from each other. This leaves less room for assumptions and misunderstanding about an individual’s status and the hierarchy of relationships. In any relationship, vanilla or kinky, unspecified and unmet expectations can create a lot of hurt feelings…

Role Specific

This type of polyamorous arrangement works well for people that have several different partners. Each partner can be given a specific role that only they can fulfill. In example, “You are my one and only daddy.”

Co-Topping

In this arrangement, a pre-established couple comes as a packaged deal. You can only play with one if you play with the other.

Service Only

This can be a significant partnership, but it is based around a sense of formality and service. Be it domestic service, high protocol for a specific event, or a formal sense of service. Oftentimes, people who are dedicated to D/s usually adopt this.

Queen Bee

In this arrangement, a dominant has multiple submissive partners who don’t have other Doms.

Alpha Slave

An alpha slave is a submissive/slave that is owned or dominated by one person. S/he is allowed to own or dominate submissives/slaves of their own, or is given the responsibility of doing so over the other dominant’s submissives/slaves.

Vanilla/Kinky

One partner of the primary relationship is not interested in BDSM. The secondary partner is allowed to explore their needs and wants with one or multiple BDSM partners.

http://manloveauthors.com/bdsm-v-polyamory-in-bdsm-leontii-holender/

An example of how a couple in a bdsm relationship takes on a third:

 I do want to play with a third alongside my Owner, I know that we are going to need a specific type of girl to fulfill my needs …

I will need a third who will enjoy pain because…I plan to inflict some on her as I allow her to service my Owner… and service me

my Owner…requires me to be submissive/slave to ONLY Him… so I don’t ever need to be submissive or a slave to any other person. He agrees that a third would never be above me… so we aren’t following any hard rules about it, but rather, what we discuss and agree on. He is my Master/Owner and I His slave, but not because of any rules… I am His slave by choice. He would never make me be a slave to a ‘third’ that we bring into the bedroom…. He wants us both to enjoy the third

http://theperfectslave.com/2013/04/05/a-third/

Negotiations are usually necessary with those you meet only at playparties.

what might be called “pickup” play at playparties typically involves the partners’ knowing details about each other than [what] many folks who have been married for a year don’t ask! Negotiations before playing with someone new at a BDSM event can be quite involved and personal; and they get even more involved and personal after years of the partners’ playing together


http://www.sexuality.org/authors/lauren/AboutBDSM5.html

But there are exceptions. In private (and some public) parties one can come into contact with well-known  community members. On these occasions, one can have a “free” pass because your partners know what to expect. For example, one of my partners might go into a session with an expert on rope bondage at a party and it isn’t necessary that she inform the other members of the triad since we know what the outcome will be.

As an example of a private party, my partners will pickup a third woman for an evening at our apartment. It isn’t necessary for me to get acquainted to the third unless she plans to stay for more than one night. Of course, I don’t mind hanging out with her outside of the bedroom and we have often become friends. Similarly, my partners take the same position about friends I bring for the night. Relationships that have room for give-and-take are a lot less stressful.

Is it worth the effort to establish and maintain an etiquette about bringing outsiders into your relationship? Bdsm relationships with additional people are rare and difficult to cultivate and maintain.  So why bother? If you’ve done it, you’ll know how rewarding the experience can be. Here is an example from fiction in the story about “sage”,  a woman who joins a couple for a kinky threesome:

What we were going to do was to fuck — it was something much more primal and exciting than what normal people did when they went to bed. It was kinky. Kinky might be in, but most people never had the nerve to really push their boundaries

reviewed in:

http://blogs.westword.com/showandtell/2012/03/book_review_becoming_sage_is_a.php

 

Posted in bdsm, polyamory, relationships

who wants polyamory more – women or men?

Do women want monogamy more than men? Or, would they consider polyamory if the they weren’t held back by circumstances or societal norms?

Here’s one person’s opinion about going back to monogamy:

I am poly, and I will not give up my other loved ones, so if you think you want something with me then either accept that, content yourself with just being a friend, or quietly exit my life…

I think it is very difficult for any one person to fulfil the sexual and emotional needs of any other one person – the question is whether they can fulfil most of their partner’s sexual/emotional desires and needs and fantasies. If they can, then there is the basis for a successful monogamous relationship

For me, polyamory isn’t primarily about sex, but rather the ability to share intimacy with more than one person. The intimacy has to happen first before I have any interest in anything sexual – subrosanomore

http://xpygarx.blogspot.com/2013/07/polyamory-2-what-women-want.html

women, routinely portrayed as the monogamous sex, are actually not very well-suited to monogamy…

we are attached to monogamy as a way to hold families together, and women have become the main defenders of this social contract…

in every conversation I’ve had with friends about sex, every woman I know has said, not proudly but quizzically, “I think I’m more like a man” or some variation of this. I don’t think any of them would buy for a second the idea that women need more emotional connection to have sex, or that women don’t objectify people’s bodies, or that women wouldn’t want a one-night stand

15 million women in the US are on mood-stabilising drugs, a common side effect of which is reduced sex drive

http://bit.ly/13bvQYp  ( a review of book about Female Desire by D. Bergner).

So are women inclined to either monogamy or polyamory depending on their situation or needs at various times in their lives? Are women more at ease with one lifestyle than the other?

Desirous wrote:

I’m fine with monogamy when I have a partner who can satisfy my needs.

So would satisfaction of needs be a determinant of either lifestyle? tequilarose wrote:

being in a poly relationship [is] a great way to get all of my needs met.

http://bit.ly/13LFRTu

Maybe men are stereotyped into the philandering role but they might not be the only ones playing around. When I serve women at the bar they often talk about cock and tease guys about their package. They become raunchy when they are away from their husbands. It seems women might also have a wanderlust if society were tolerant of it.

lookingForSomeone

“I’m bored with him tonight. I wonder when that cute delivery guy will be here?”

If your monogamous relationship becomes a little humdrum or you are becoming bored talking the same things with your partner do you leave him/her or consider the polyamory option?

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