Duchess Heartless from duchessheartless.blogspot.com
So, ’tis the season to bash sex-workers, especially Pro-Dommes? and sub men who love them!
In her blog Miss Pearl writes:
as a female dominant I am SO FUCKING FRUSTRATED. Both at the assumption that I don’t really exist and that professionals are the norm, and that my relationship with my partners, even as a non-pro, follows the guidelines of a professional
non-professional (and I still chafe at calling myself ‘lifestyle’) dominants are eclipsed by the attention paid to professionals to the point that femdoms are sex workers in the default of popular imagination
female dominants who aren’t doing the thing as some sort of job…are invisible, or it’s a punch line, or at best doesn’t extend as far as her sexuality
because female dominance is laced with this stereotype, women who would otherwise be into BDSM style activities are turned off- not only do the majority of the guys who identify as submissive (or as a switch) getting their information from a world that thinks F/m is #givemoneytowomen writ large, but even among those who don’t want to pay, the attitude is that they’re still booking a session
it doesn’t infuriate me that many people just don’t know about lifestyle Dommes. It doesn’t negatively impact how I see myself or how I feel about how others see me. Pros are out their marketing themselves. We are not. We cannot be upset that people know more about them than us
to which miss pearl comments:
Male dominants don’t need to advertise. Female subs don’t need to advertise. Male subs don’t either. People literally believe I don’t exist, of *course* I’m pissed off.
Hell, I literally advertise right here what I am. And it still does nothing compared with the sheer volume of people who write me off as a low rent version of a sex worker.
I commented similarly about promoting lifestyle dominant views. She replied:
No, we’re not going to advertise more, because this is literally turning ‘lifestyle’ dominants off of ever trying and participating in the first place.
I don’t see how well-thought presentations about lifestyle issues will turn “‘lifestyle’ dominants off” especially if they are written by lifestyle dominants . We won’t know until this happens, will we?
I rarely comment on Miss Pearl’s blogs even when she has an interesting topic because I feel like she is looking for a target as if I epitomize the type of male she often rallies against. It’s like walking into an ethnic studies class and being used as a punching bag.
There is a tone in Pearl’s blog that suggests that she dislikes being compared to a sex-worker. I’m guessing she has a low opinion of sex-workers or at least feels superior to them. As I said in comments to her posts, I have many friends & acquaintances who are both pro & lifestyle dommes. And they are people, too.
Miss Pearl has a similar disdain for sub guys because she thinks they all treat her and other dominants like pro-dommes:
male subs, the ‘clients’ who are too attached to being pandered to, [should] consider one of the reasons why so many of you can’t figure out how to find a real life partner is because you’ve chased non working women out of your sexuality
Are male-subs so addicted to pro-dommes that they chase non-sex-workers away? Really?
I’m not certain what Miss Pearl wants anymore as she seems to have burned most of her bridges in the #femdom & #bdsm community.