Orgasm Control – Control the Cock, Control the Man

How to keep a guy off-balance and in anticipation when they think of their partner…by controlling his orgasm!

Mistress Valiant

Orgasm control is one of the most powerful tools of any Dominant and can take on many forms such as delay, denial, ruined or partial orgasm, orgasm on command or trigger, edging, forced orgasm, etc. I will touch on all of these techniques as well as some general tips to help you achieve each one and keep your submissive motivated, focused and craving you more and more every day.

I will be writing this article from a Female Domme/male submissive perspective based on my own point of view as far as preferences and techniques.  I have been asked by many people to offer some instruction in this area. There are many other points of view out there, I encourage you to experiment with what works for you.  No one way is right for everyone in every situation.

I for one am not a fan of chastity devices, I require my…

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Spanking anyone? #TuesdayThoughts with Doris (@mamaD8)

this post is a definitive guide to the most popular #bdsm activity…#spanking!

Naughty Quills

Happy Tuesday, lovely peeps, Doris here with today’s Tuesday Thoughts.

I’m talking spankings today, and I know what you’re going to say.  Well, that’s boring, Doris. We all know what a spanking is. But, do you really?

Female butt with spanking mark

For a long time spankings for me were associated with a painful childhood. I was a willful child, and as I was brought up by my Gran, who was very old school discipline, I got a lot of over the knee spankings, which left my bum sore.

There was also the tea towel whip and let’s not forget the slipper. Last and by far the worst the fly swatter and the carpet beater, for when I had been really naughty.

I make her sound like a monster, but she wasn’t. Far from it. I did need a lot of discipline, and while I may not agree with her methods, as an adult I…

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Pulling him into the dark side

sometimes a sub has to communicate what they want to their partner to make the relationship work toward the satisfaction of both.

~Wolves in Sheep's Clothing~Love, sex and long distance. A life journey into full discovery of ourselves and each other.

I’m not sure the exact conversation where I told him I was unsatisfied with sex for years but it happened. I told him that I wasn’t into the normal ways people get their berries razzed, I heard that on Grey’s Anatomy and I wanted to use it, and I told him when I was younger I had been in a very controlled Dom and Sub relationship and that was the happiest I’d ever been with a person. Jeep was very boring and he had sex the way I picture cave men. Grunting and pointing towards the bed and then a bunch of grunting there. It was terrible. I wanted more and I explained to Mr. Stark all the things I wanted. Poor babe, I thought I had broken him. I was desperately looking for his reset button when he said he’d try it. And we’ve never looked back.

Phone sex…

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Forced Feminisation Frustrations Firmly Felt For Femdom FLR Female

this post is about some of the difficulties of suspending your relationship with your partner (such as Forced Fem.) when family visits…and how to get back to it when they’re gone!

Ladiesontop by Lady A

There is another F for the post title but this is a family blog. OK it’s really not a family blog in that sense but in the FLR sense. No need for bad language anyway.

In my last post I wrote about things going well so what frustrations are being firmly felt in the field of forced feminisation? You may have notcied that I have been a bit lax in writing lately. Firstly in that I’ve been very busy at work. Now I shouldn’t complain because, as an alpha female, having an important job is normal and of course I have a pretty submissive housewife at home to help me out. It does mean however, that I can’t always concentrate on pushing Alice to the next stage though. This takes me to the next point which is that we’ve had a lot of family and friend contact over the past…

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Calm The Fuck Down

sometimes one can overthink a relationship…and ignore the basics of why we’re attracted to our partner


I feel like I’ve been asleep these last few months. Hibernating, dormant. Waiting for something to show me the way forward. And though I feel like I’ve been sleeping, by no means have I been calm.

When last I wrote, things had gotten a bit…complicated, and I wrote something signaling the end, cursing him for this and that, just raging, really. In retrospect, it feels a bit childish. And so, I’ve spent the last six months feeling rather skeptical, a bit suspicious, and VERY defiant. My confidence in our relationship and my trust in him were severely shaken, and at times (secretly) the end did seem near. I threw most of my slave jewelry away, though some of it was too beautiful to let go of. I shirked my responsibilities as a slave, sexually and psychologically, because I was so afraid that putting in the kind of effort I really…

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Dominant not domineering…#TuesdayThoughts with Doris (@MamaD8)

what a dom should be…not only domineering…but caring too!

Naughty Quills

Hello lovely peeps, Doris here with more of her Tuesday Thoughts on all things Domly this time, so gather close. I may or may not be ranting a little, too. You have been warned.

This post ties in quite nicely with my thoughts on how to write Alphas, not arseholes and my first post on BDSM. Check them out, if you’ve missed them.:-)

bdsm pic

The dictionary defines a Dominant thus:




  1. 1.

having power and influence over others.

“they are now in an even more dominant position in the market”

synonyms: presiding, ruling, governing, controlling, commandingascendant,supremeauthoritative, most influential, most powerful, superior;More

Even in that definition, it doesn’t state domineering, however.

A true Dominant is certainly not domineering. That would make him an arse at best and up for an assault charge at worst.

Dominance is something that you either have or you…

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Why Submission?

How #painPlay can make a sub feel more centered in a #bdsm scene

Love Letters to a Unicorn


I have been preparing to teach a class at subCON this weekend in NYC. The great thing about teaching any subject is that you are forced to refine your thinking about what you are teaching and explore the topic much more deeply than you would otherwise. That has been the case when I taught government, when I taught leadership, and now when I teach about submission.

I am teaching “Deepening Your Submission.” This class is designed to take the participants through a series of exercises and then send them home with more suggested work so that they can discover how to deepen their own submission. To teach this, I had to unpack what has brought me to this point in my kink and D/s and what I want to do more of.

I started with the basic question, “Why do I submit?” It is a question I frequently get from…

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