From Single to Solo Polyamory: How the Pandemic changed my outlook

Many of our poly families were broken by the Pandemic but we’re coming together again

A pandemic can change the way we maintain relationships.

My partnership with two others dissolved shortly the Pandemic began. It was a “no-fault” breakup. Sarah moved to Portland to join a triad with Jeff and his brother Paul. They now manage a small brew-pub. Marie became the caretaker of her aging parents. The bistro we owned was sold and the building was replaced with a high-rise condo tower. The Pandemic hit and we were in lockdown. Our friends had nowhere to meet. I became a single poly person.

I thought (hoped) that after the Pandemic was over I’d somehow reunite with my poly family. Now that the Pandemic is seemingly winding down, I found I cannot regroup with my primary partners. We discussed our situation and realized there was no reason to keep hanging on to what was our life together.

My friends kept coming by. Eric, Fred, Ken, Lisa, Molly to name a few. We have been having lots of great sex but none of us want to take things further because the Pandemic could return with the lockdowns, mandates, etc. They too have experienced poly breakups.

Someone suggested Solo Polyamory as a state to keep in tune with your body and find what makes me happy with my surviving poly relationships. It was noted several years ago. I also could resonate with interviews of several poly people.

Solo polyamory may not work for those who are sill in poly groups as there are no hierarchies or relationship escalators. There are times when I wish I could wander into Sarah and Marie’s bedroom and just talk. I miss the day-to-day support exchanges we had when things got a little stressful. There’s no way I’ll get into a business with my remaining partners anytime soon except for working on short projects. Eric and I go on late-night construction jobs boarding up vandalized storefronts.

The Pandemic has derailed my career of addiction counseling despite the growing need for this service where I live.

I could get depressed with my dire situation but I am at least at peace with myself and find comfort in living day to day.

On the positive side my friends and I seem to have more intense experiences (dare I say ‘joy’?) because we aren’t restricted with commitments to specific partners. Friends can come and go or develop their particular attachments. In the end I still stay centered on who I am and what I want to do with my life.

About dave94015

interested in alternative relationships, visual artist, erotic romance writer and reviewer of erotica, drug rehab clinic intern - early 30's
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