Is dominance a ‘favor’ or submission a ‘gift’? Do people in D/s enjoy the role they choose most of the time? Some thoughts in this post…
Over the years I have often heard the phrase “submission is a gift,” usually accompanied by a statement about how it should be “given freely.” The idea that submission carries with it worth and is something special is very romantic. I consider this a noble sentiment that would hold true in a perfect world. However, in our very flawed world, this is only true for some.
In the F/m community there has been a rise in popularity of the idea that “dominance is a favor.” That is, by giving the sub dominance, the dominant is giving the sub what they want and catering to their desires. While this has a lot of implications that go along with it, what stands out to me the most is that this diminishes the value of submission and increases the value of dominance.
The fact that both of these ideas have momentum in the…
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dave94015 
This:
“I see D/s as a symbiotic relationship where each part needs the other to exist in their role. You cannot have dominance without submission. You cannot have submission without dominance. I do make the lofty assumption that people should enjoy the role they choose. If that is the case, then the melding of mutual wants and needs is a favor or gift to neither. This combination is necessary for D/s to exist. It is a choice people make in pursuit of mutual happiness and fulfillment.”
Happiness is often fleeting but fulfillment is a definite reason for those looking for a LTR in D/s. Each partner brings out, shall we say, the other’s inner passions for Dominance or submission. The longer they work on it, the deeper it gets. This depth is often unattainable from short-term liasons.