thoughts on the sensation of back-door entry…and how women feel it! #poetry

Erotic Yearnings

pressed down upon the table,
breasts flattened against the glass,
positioned to enable,
you exploring my pear shaped arse,

over lush sensuous curves,
your fingers tenderly stroke,
with reverence flesh deserves,
and wanton sensations evoke,

as baby oil trickles,
in the crack between my cheeks,
and then your finger circles,
before that tight rosette seeks,

carefully preparing me,
for your impending entrance,
progressing degree by degree,
slowly losing reticence,

my body lies beneath yours,
probing fingers slowly move,
into my tight arse finger saws,
and receptiveness improve,

suddenly fingers withdrawn,
to be replaced by your cock,
and feels like I’m getting torn,
till I get over the shock,

as your smooth knob pushes in,
stretching to accommodate,
taking more and more within,
pulling back, as pain does abate,

then pressing back into me,
each time going a bit more deep,
till it is nearly pain free,
and juices start to…

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Thinking of #sexiting?

Many of us choose #sexwork (#SW) for economic reasons. I followed a tweet from    

which linked to a Broadly article that described the transition of female #SW’s into other occupations, pursuits or retirement, [who are] “escorts who became leading activists and academics”.


Few sex workers stay in the industry for their whole working lives…Many sex workers view the industry as a short-term stepping stone to a regular (or “straight”) career, and aim to retire from sex work when they’ve amassed enough money…but  if they’re working in a country where prostitution is illegal…[they get] a criminal record and [are] unable to leave prostitution.

Ms. Elle and many other #SW’s (including me) are for decriminalizing consensual #SW. And yet we have a DA (Gascon) who we voted for in ‘liberal’ SF and a Cal.  State Senator (Kamala Harris) who are trying to bolster criminal penalties for SW by shutting down “Backpage” and labeling SW as “Trafficking”! It’s as if SW were dragging people off the streets into their bedrooms or dungeons! We have to press the cause for decriminalization and stand up against these moral prudes who we mistakenly elected!




Women who do #SW have it much worse than guys because society still shuns them for practicing it and silently admires guys for their sexual prowess. The causes vary, but the effect is that society deprives women from making a legitimate living from consensual sexual practices.

With this ramped-up persecution (the new “conservative order”) it may be harder for SW’s to save up for their next career or retirement.

And if you’re a SW, what is your exit-strategy?




I was fortunate to attend classes in Sexuality taught by former and currently active  #SW’s. Their views broadened my understanding of the SW culture greatly.

you can learn a lot more about these issues and get some interesting ideas from Domina Elle by following her on Twitter.

For more views on #SWm  follow

mistressmatisse @mistressmatisse 





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Lunch date with “friends.”

Why should a woman who has a poly relationship with 2 guys be shunned as Feminazi by “Christians”?

Domina Jen

Do you have any of those friends that you used to be so fucking tight with, and you just adored, but then as you got older, you drifted apart to the point that you really don’t have anything in common anymore, and you can’t even really stand each other’s company, but you remain friends anyway?

You know, the kind you go without seeing for months and months, and then you start to miss them, and all the cool shit you did back in the day, and their many, many, many faults start to seem smaller in the unique rosy light of nostalgia, and you think to yourself, “God, I miss them.  Why don’t we hang out anymore?” so you arrange a hangout, and ten minutes into the hangout, you think to yourself, “Oh yeah, this is why we don’t fucking hang out anymore.  Because they’re fucking idiots.  Why can I…

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Guys, when your #bdsm fantasy becomes a reality, do you freak out?


What will you do when one day your partner wants you to dominate her? She knows you have a fantasy for #bdsm and now she wants you to make your move. Or, you have sub fantasies and your partner wants to take things to the next level.

Do you freak out?

Here are some reasons I’ve heard about a guy’s reasons for freaking out:

  1. you’ve never done this before and don’t know the first steps.
  2. you’re afraid your relationship with your partner will change if you go down the rabbit hole.
  3. you’re afraid you’ll dislike something about #bdsm and want to back out of it gracefully.
  4. Many guys are averse to beating women.
  5. you’re really embarrassed to learn about her darker secrets.
  6. you’re afraid your friends, family or associates will find about your fetishes and not respect you.
  7. If you’re a sub, you fear you’ll lose the equality aspects of your relationship.
  8. you think you’ll become addicted to the #bdsm lifestyle.


Imagine this scenario: you’ve been dating her for a while, or you’ve been married to her and doing “vanilla” and eventually she would like you to dominate her. You might wonder why. All along, you’ve been maintaining a post-feminist “equality” kind of relationship where you help out and do the chores, etc. and how could this happen? Most guys are natural leaders, possibly because they are less afraid of taking risks, or less concerned about what others might think. She then comes to see you as dominant at least in this respect. Now she wants to take it to the next level. She wants you to “own” her.

What is she saying? She wants a deeper commitment from you that will satisfy her fantasies. She’s giving you the gift of her submission.

What do you do?

You freak out because it’s way deeper than you’ve become accustomed to


You take possession of her precious gift.

If you choose the former option (freakout), your relationship is in jeopardy. So if you really want to continue the relationship (or you’ve been married for a long time), you choose the 2nd option: you assume “ownership” of her and become the true dominant you really are.

But what do you do next?

Here are 2 things you must figure out how to communicate to her:

  1. claim her as yours
  2. seduce her into submitting to your dominance.

For the first move begin to identify her as your princess, baby girl, soul mate, queen, sub. or whatever works for both of you. Convince her that you will always be loyal and take care of her special needs. Tell her that she is the most important person in your life. OK, maybe it seems like a stretch to you but this is your one shot. Just say it as often as you can (daily at least) and after awhile it becomes natural to you. Maybe you’ll come to think that way eventually.

For the 2nd move, talk to her and learn what you can do to trigger her sub. side. Learn how to get her aroused first. A thing to remember is that many women are not aroused by penetrative sex. Don’t assume you can dive into some rough sex with her immediately. Think about how you can show her that you own her. Order her around a little. Do some light bondage and tease her with a little pain. Tempt her and edge her with your fingers, a vibrator or your tongue. Get her aroused and wanting you.

Always communicate with your partner about your experience. Ask her about what she desires.  Improve on your dominance. You can learn much about the role from many sources (such as Kink Academy ) If things go well, talk about taking things to the next level.

If you are aiming for a DD relationship, you might consider a contract to seal the deal (see Domestic Discipline, Jenny style! ) .


If you’re on the sub. side – it may take considerable more effort to bring out your partner’s dominant side. More on this in a future post.





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Guys: What’s with the “dick pics”? – a modest defense of cock shots


Yet again I read a post about someone’s disgust about getting a selfie with a dick (cleverly disguised by a transparent water bottle) in: cock-shot . I have yet to meet a woman either in RL or on social-media who really wants to see a guy’s dick as the first point of contact.

But wait – there are plenty of postings of guy’s profiles on Fetlife (for example, check out Jerry’s cock-shot on #FetLife http://bit.ly/2mWB24K )

Jerry’s profile has “Love this Pic” from many women! (guys too).

So why do guys post cock-shots?

The reasons vary – but many come down to “show your best assets”, especially on dating sites. If you’re someone who might want to hook up with say, Jerry, you might want to know how big his mastiff is. Size does matter! (please don’t ask me why).

On the other hand, if you want a relationship with, again, Big Jerry, you might want to strike up a conversation about a lot of other things. But if all you know about Jerry is his Mighty Tower all you could open with: “Hey, Jer, that’s a hot PA you have. Is it a 00? And how did you get those pearls in there?”

Now, do you see how awkward an introduction like that is?

If you’re really looking for more than a 1-night stand, it pays to be discreet about your package. Communicate with them about your interests, your background or other things about you that indicate your personality. S/he might get put off by your junk, but might get to like you anyway – because you have “other assets”.

BTW – most dating sites will censor explicit pics of genitals. But if you want to go all out, try Recon or the aforementioned Fetlife.

As for me, I don’t have standalone genital pics on any of my current profiles and I don’t send them to the ladies. Some pics of my junk are still circulating from some porn I was in but I can’t stop the promoters from making a buck, eh?

images (3)

which is more attractive, the bottle of JD or what’s behind it?

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Top 10 WTF things of Hentai

What’s so weird about #hentai these days – 10 things

Slap Ass For Motivation

Hello and welcome to Kinky Wednesday. 🙂 Sir Atticus and I have a 24/7 Dominant/submissive relationship, but it’s less intense that you might imagine. I do have a couple of tasks to keep me in check during the week, like exercising and some kind of orgasm and masturbation control. Lately it had been edging every way. I was to edge aka masturbate till I almost climax then pull back and I had to do it three times every day. And I’m one of those who watch porn when I masturbate (how I envy the younger me for whom only naughty imagination was enough). So edging daily also meant watching a LOT of porn. And I have different phases when it comes to porn and it had been my hentai phase for a while now. I don’t usually look for any certain kind of hentai porn,

Hentai – which literally means…

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Misunderstanding Fantasy

The best porn…Is the one the mind creates!

Femdom Ramblings from a submissive male

I had another realization today that makes me feel kind of dense for not seeing it before.  In the past year I’ve come across a lot of Dommes that are vocal about being anti-fantasy.  They post it on their profiles, their blogs, discussions, and the like.  I am personally a big proponent of the potential of fantasy so I felt rather lost as to why this is.

What I grasped is that there is a fundamental difference in how they perceive fantasy as to how I perceive fantasy.

My view of fantasy: envisioning something that isn’t occurring right now or recounting something that has already happened.

Their view of fantasy: Femdom porn videos and pictures.

I don’t watch porn.  I have seen a handful of videos and clips here and there but it is not something I am well-versed in.  I don’t even know what “stereotypical Femdom porn” looks like. …

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