Femdom Games

Why do people get into femdom or bdsm relationships and why do they abandon them?

Does love bring them together and eventually separate them? or does love have anything to do with the relationship?

If you separate femdom relationship activity from BDSM activities, you can understand the underlying motives of participants and how they could lead to temporary or more sustaining partnerships. Separating BDSM from femdom isn’t easy to do. Many proponents of femdom assert that it is enforced by BDSM rituals and play (1).

Women will often say they want to lead the relationship, but they are usually waiting for the man to make the first move. In femdom, the submissive lays out the activities that he hopes the dominant will engage in.

In the relationship, the woman prefers the man to initiate sex by showing his attraction to her. Her attraction to him often happens after he presents his ardor. In femdom, the woman wants to control the sex while sustaining or heightening the man’s interest through kink.

Discussions of individual interests and finding a common ground with mutually shared rewards are essential for building a lasting relationship.

a dominant controls his arousal

Guys know when they are attracted to a woman (or a feminine TG (2)). Their body tells them. Their emotions often override their reasoned positions. A submissive guy wants his partner to engage in various BDSM activities that he prefers but often self-censors his feelings because he doesn’t want to scare off the potential partner.

People skilled in BDSM engagements emphasize calm communication that may require time for an inexperienced partner to process.

If a guy doesn’t presents his interests, the future of the relationship will likely be limited.

“the faithfulness in a relationship is linked to the mutual interest of the parties” writes Nishant Jain . The BDSM relationship is a kind of social contract. If the participants do not intend on repeating the play, the option to defect from it is is just as attractive as continuing. If they plan to continue in play, the long-term rewards of developing a sustained relationship are maximized by cooperating in BDSM activity with mutual self-interest.

BDSM can start as mutual attraction and lead to love

Anecdote: Rope, train,keep.

When the pandemic began, Laura stopped dating when the parties stopped and the bars closed. She kept her “looking for someone interested in rope” profile in social media but received no responses. Meanwhile, her work of processing health claims at home increased. She was swamped with work and wanted to hire another person.

After a few dry months of no responses to her roping pictures in social media, Rob DM’d her with praise and a few questions about her rope tricks. They chatted online several times and decided to meet at a nearby shopping mall. Rob showed up on his bike. Laura was aroused by his tight butt and his front bulge encased in the spandex racing shorts he wore. After a few meetups, she offered to show him some rope techniques in her apartment.

Rob told her he’d like her to tie him up and she obliged him. After he became comfortable with the bondage, she offered to spank him and perform aftercare with his butt afterward. After these times, they had intense sex.

Laura offered Rob the job as her trainee. He learned quickly. Laura suggested that he move in with her so they could work more efficiently. Rob said he would but only if she would keep him. He found a BDSM contract online and proposed it to Laura. She would be the dominant and he would be the submissive to her. Laura would keep Rob as her property.

Laura thought about the contract. To her it was a way that would solidify their relationship. She agreed to try it for a few months. Because of the Pandemic, the couple didn’t go out very much except to buy essentials. They adapted to each other’s habits. Laura experimented with more interesting ways to bind Rob and make him aroused by her impact play. Eventually they explored other BDSM practices. For his birthday, she bought him a gift online. He was ecstatic when she placed the gift around his neck.

Now Rob works along side Laura wearing her collar.

For further reading:

How game theory can help to give your love life a boost https://tinyurl.com/y75og64m

” if two people knew their relationship would be short, they were more likely to cheat. If, on the other hand, the relationship had no forseeable end, they tended to cooperate.”

From Game Theory to Real Life: How Social Value Orientation Affects
Willingness to Sacrifice in Ongoing Close Relationships
https://tinyurl.com/y9wmxzgj

“willingness to sacrifice was associated with greater commitment and that this link was more pronounced among individualists than among prosocials. Results also revealed an association between one’s own willingness to sacrifice and beliefs regarding the partner’s willingness to sacrifice (this link was somewhat more pronounced among prosocials than among individualists) and one’s own willingness to sacrifice and actual partner’s willingness to sacrifice. ‘

How Game Theory Can Help You Be Smart About Relationships https://tinyurl.com/y757s8vu

“The core of the matter here is 1) trust, and 2) what one person is willing to do for another.

In the best-case-scenario, both partners trust each other. And they genuinely care about each other.

And not only that, they’re willing to sacrifice things for the other person’s happiness.”

Game Theory and Romance https://tinyurl.com/ychtf4sb

“analyzing relationships with game theory reinforces the fact that intuitive dominant strategies only exist in a perfect world. Though it is beneficial for both players to strategize in a way that they will not be hurt emotionally by their partner, in an imperfect world this will hurt the relationship more.”

Mind Games Applied to Relationships https://tinyurl.com/y9n73vml

” In romantic relationships, it is essential for both parties to trust each other and expose their vulnerability if they are going to get to romantic bliss. But this is a highly risky strategy. If you show your vulnerability and your significant other doesn’t, then you risk getting very hurt. ..the ultimate idea behind game theory when it comes to relationships: Obtain the best circumstances possible without getting hurt in the process. This is what we strive for in a perfect world. 

Being afraid of losing romantic games means that you have little possibility of really winning them in any meaningful way

Notes:

(1) Separating Femdom from BDSM is a useful way to explain different game strategies required to build a relationship from those strategies that are useful for maintaining a relationship. In the former (femdom), a guy must approach his potential partner differently than in conventional romances. He is offering her his vulnerability in submission in exchange for her taking control of him through dominance. In the latter, (BDSM), the couple negotiates play activities that are mutually attractive to each and works toward building a long-term relationship.

Proponents of FLR (female-lead relationships) advocate different levels of BDSM practice in the relationship (from nearly none to a full-BDSM lifestyle). Game strategies of engagement in a FLR are often different and more codified from the general ones suggested in this post.

“A female-led relationship (FLR) is simply the one whereby a female takes the charge and calls the shots for the well-being of the relationship. This breaks the stereotypical notion that men should always lead and dominate.

A female-led relationship is a traditional relationship but with the gender roles reversed. ” – https://tinyurl.com/y76zsvvr

The literature on FLR relationships is vast and varied. I have written about some forms of FLR in previous posts. I suggest guys check out: “Best femdom books meant for men” at this link: https://tinyurl.com/y9flacnq

(2) TG means Transgender and in particular a male who presents as a female. Many males are comfortable with TG’s playing the dominant if the sex is acceptable to participants.

About dave94015

interested in alternative relationships, visual artist, erotic romance writer and reviewer of erotica, drug rehab clinic intern - early 30's
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