BDSM Dating

Finding a date online is a process of swiping left or right for many

Getting a bdsm date online is precarious.

First, there are few bdsm dating sites. I don’t consider Fetlife as a dating-specific site (although many are attracted to it for that).

Many dating sites do not want

  • BDSM interests
  • GLBTQ sexual orientation
  • Explicit sex trolling

With the FOSTA/SESTA witch-hunt you cannot offer or imply services of any kind.

Start with a profile. Here is a profile of a female dominant seeking a submissive guy:

I’m a successful, brilliant, talented, artistic funny, humble dominant woman in My [enter your age, rounded], looking for a submissive man to fulfill all of My desires and make My already wonderful life even better. I enjoy a wide range of activities, especially foot worship, domestic service, mental domination, and punishment (when appropriate). I especially love orgasm control and denial. I will own your orgasms, and you will find yourself naturally submitting to Me naturally before you know it. Be confident but not cocky, in good shape, and truly submissive. This is not a game for Me. I’m looking for a long-term romantic relationship that will lead to marriage. You must be willing to commit to something real. If you’re just looking for kinky sex, move on and spare both of U/us the emotional expense. Do not worry if you don’t have any experience; I’m a great teacher. To respond, tell Me about your experience serving a dominant woman and what submission means to you. I look forward to O/our journey, [your name]

The sentences: “I especially love orgasm control and denial. I will own your orgasms, …” might force the site to censor you depending on how strict they are about sexually-explicit material. You could rewrite this with innuendo:”I love to tease a guy but hold off until the time is right…maybe when we’re married?”

Here is a submissive guy’s reply to your profile:

Dear [your name], We have so much in common! I’m successful, brilliant and humble, too! ☺ I really enjoyed reading your profile and would love to know more about you. I love the idea of a confident, powerful woman teaching me how to worship her and make her life better. To me, true submission is about the dedication to another. In my dream relationship, I love, cherish and obey my dominant as she loves, cherishes and leads me. It’s that reality I seek more than any one particular kinky activity. I don’t have a lot of experience, but I believe you when you say you’re a great teacher. I’m looking for a real relationship, so I’m glad you are as well. I’d love to talk more and see if I’m right for you. Please let me know if you’re curious about communicating more. Sincerely,  [sub guy’s name]

Working the online dating scene is full of pitfalls. Check out this guy’s attempt to find a dominant:

We met on Femdom.Dating. My profile was male submissive, she was (obviously) a female dominatrix. Her profile picture was of a pair of long, perfectly sculpted legs in fishnet hose; on her feet, four-inch black patent leather high heels. I instantly wanted to get down on my knees and worship their owner….

I couldn’t believe she wrote me first. The way it mostly goes on BDSM websites is that you write to a dozen mistresses, hear back from one, and ‘she’ turns out to be a ‘he’—some asshole jerking around male submissives around for shits and giggles…..

scam artists prey on innocent submissives who long to obey their Master/Mistress, think it’s real and before long they’re hooked. Once the D/s relationship is established, they get reeled in like a fish on a line: “My husband died of liver cancer and I need help, wire money, slave.”

it was obvious that she had actually read my profile and that she was a real lifestyle Mistress . . . one with a plan.

She wrote:

“Hello slave, you state you want to experience true submission to a dominant woman, and that you want it to be real, more than a scene. You seem sincere and your profile suggests a certain depth of character. I’m currently in my selection process for a new submissive. I prefer candidates from the Metro D.C. area, and will review them over the next week, so do not delay. You must respond via the email address below. Enter ‘Candidate 46’ in the subject line. Attach a recent face photo and your real-life job résumé. Write a short essay explaining why you seek this position and list any prior BDSM experience. You will address me as ‘Ms. Hunter’ in all correspondence.”

She sent him a copy of her alt.com profile. Under this profile, there was a final line of text that read, “Mistress Hunter has received your response and will get back to you if you are selected for an interview. Thank you for your interest.”

My heart sank; it was an auto-message. Come to think of it, given that I was ‘Candidate 46,’ then there were probably at least 50—if not 100—wanna-be subs like me. This was a submissive cattle call.

Submissives rightly become jaded and wary. 

Flr and femdom is a relationship…when it is perfectly normal for a man to be in charge in a relationship, it is also equally perfectly normal when a woman is in charge, as long as both parties agree that this is the way they want it to work

Here is a person’s rant over not finding a date online.

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About dave94015

interested in alternative relationships, visual artist, erotic romance writer and reviewer of erotica, drug rehab clinic intern - late 20's
This entry was posted in bdsm, dating, femdom, relationships and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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