Can a submissive show his emotions during a bdsm session – or should he suppress them in the ‘man-box’?


Can a submissive be transparent and express all of his emotions during a play session…or does he hold back?

In Mark Greenes’ The Man Box: The Link Between Emotional Suppression and Male Violence

the social mechanism many have come to call the Man Box is the dominant frame for performing masculinity [that many men choose]…A real man is strong and stoic. He doesn’t show emotions other than anger and excitement. He is a breadwinner. He is heterosexual. He is able-bodied. He plays or watches sports. He is the dominant participant in every exchange. He is a firefighter, a lawyer, a CEO. He is a man’s man….[he] represents what is supposedly normative and acceptable within the tightly controlled performance of American male masculinity…He is our symbol for what is admirable and honorable in American men.

When American men attempt to express masculinity in more diverse ways, it can often be the women in their lives who force them back into the Box…The Man Box is sustained by both men and women. The Man Box is sustained by both men and women. ..The Man Box exists to accrue power upward in its internal hierarchy and it does so by isolating men emotionally and then channeling their resulting anger into the repetitious and addictive act of policing and punishing others…The purpose of the man box is to target difference and grant permission for acting out aggression. This self-perpetuating closed loop of emotional suppression, reactivity and policing is constantly taking place even among groups of men who reside entirely within the Man Box.

In a bdsm session, many male submissives will do all they can to suppress their reactions to pain. Submissives may feel they have to conceal some elements of their personality and feelings when with a domme.

More on this in this post



A few weeks ago, I went to an event that was billed as being a space, “exclusive to Female Dominants and those submissive to them.” This event failed to live up to what was listed on the tin, but that wasn’t really a surprise. What was surprising was that my jaded ass came away with some ideas to contemplate.

Specifically, there was one moment I found striking.

A girl was being beaten in the next room. I did not go to watch this session. I just listened.

Honestly, I’ve heard seen scenes like this enough times that I could probably guess with decent accuracy what was being used on her her by sound alone.

The wailing turned to sobs and it was clearly cathartic, and I got some satisfaction listening to her take it. Especially because she’d been such a brat earlier, the sadism of the tops working on her…

View original post 193 more words


About dave94015

interested in alternative relationships, visual artist, erotic romance writer and reviewer of erotica, drug rehab clinic intern - late 20's
This entry was posted in bdsm, bdsm-culture, bdsm-session, femdom, impact-play, submission and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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