Can a submissive show his emotions during a bdsm session – or should he suppress them in the ‘man-box’?


Can a submissive be transparent and express all of his emotions during a play session…or does he hold back?

In Mark Greenes’ The Man Box: The Link Between Emotional Suppression and Male Violence

the social mechanism many have come to call the Man Box is the dominant frame for performing masculinity [that many men choose]…A real man is strong and stoic. He doesn’t show emotions other than anger and excitement. He is a breadwinner. He is heterosexual. He is able-bodied. He plays or watches sports. He is the dominant participant in every exchange. He is a firefighter, a lawyer, a CEO. He is a man’s man….[he] represents what is supposedly normative and acceptable within the tightly controlled performance of American male masculinity…He is our symbol for what is admirable and honorable in American men.

When American men attempt to express masculinity in more diverse ways, it can often be the women in their lives who force them back into the Box…The Man Box is sustained by both men and women. The Man Box is sustained by both men and women. ..The Man Box exists to accrue power upward in its internal hierarchy and it does so by isolating men emotionally and then channeling their resulting anger into the repetitious and addictive act of policing and punishing others…The purpose of the man box is to target difference and grant permission for acting out aggression. This self-perpetuating closed loop of emotional suppression, reactivity and policing is constantly taking place even among groups of men who reside entirely within the Man Box.

In a bdsm session, many male submissives will do all they can to suppress their reactions to pain. Submissives may feel they have to conceal some elements of their personality and feelings when with a domme.

More on this in this post


About dave94015

interested in alternative relationships, visual artist, erotic romance writer and reviewer of erotica, drug rehab clinic intern - early 30's
This entry was posted in bdsm, bdsm-culture, bdsm-session, femdom, impact-play, submission and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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