Can you have Polyamory in a BDSM relationship?


You can get more from a poly relationship than just another fuckbuddy… you can have a lifelong partner if you communicate and negotiate

Here’s a look at a poly relationship:

In Tara Struyk’s 7 Polyamory Myths It’s Time to Stop Believing

Polyamory is mostly about having a lot of sex.

What I found beyond the sex were friendships, a support system, and family.

It’s for people who don’t want to commit.

My capacity for loving my partners has deepened as time has passed.

Polyamory can never really work because humans are jealous by nature.

[jealousy is] almost always the result of poor communication—not going over concerns or fears with my wife or partner

Orgies are the name of the game.

Most of the more intensive sexual contact happens between members of a couple, and things are typically linked between the couples by groping or kissing [which] is actually a handful of triads or couples getting it on with their usual partners

Polyamory is for commitment-phobes.

Commitment is not a function of coliving. Commitment is about being there for the other person

Poly people are more at risk for an STI.

each partner is bound by various agreements and protocols about the partners they have, the safe sex practices they use, and the STI testing they receive

Polyamory practitioners never get attached to anyone.

polyamory has an “abundance’, a wealth of love, affection, and possibility that having multiple partners tends to bring to their life. The downside is that more love can also mean more potential for heartbreak.

polyamory isn’t one-size-fits-all. Or maybe it’s that love isn’t one-size-fits-all, and we can each choose to do it a little differently, in whatever way fits.

Polyamory allows me to love on my terms—who I want, how I want, and for how long—with the consent of all involved


Polyamory is as much an ‘umbrella’ term as BDSM is. It generally means “loving more than one” but is not specific of the composition of the group. For example, a poly group could have 1 or more (but not all) participants who also practice BDSM. If all practice BDSM, we might regard the group as a special type of poly arrangement, a harem.

In the anecdote below, the author discusses a session with a Dom who was also in a poly group that he didn’t inform of his activities.

Generally, poly participants like to think of themselves as equal participants but in practice we see a mix of couples and singles. Participation in BDSM may be incidental.

[more on this in a future update]

Polyamory when done correctly – you gain a partner, lover, or even lifelong relationship

Read more here

Lady of pure filth

Random discussions have been occurring with me and different friends in regards to polyamory & it got my mind spinning.   What does polyamory mean to me?  Let’s be honest many people have their ideas of what polyamory is and what it is not. Several misconceptions exist. Television shows & many internet articles paint poly relationships as either a free for all orgy or polygamist families where one man has several wives. I once tried to explain to my mother I was in a polyamorous relationship. We had an honest talk & what I still respect about that conversation is that she really tried to understand. However, she didn’t fully understand why I would engage in such a thing. “Sharing is not my thing.” She wanted to know if I felt unworthy to have the love of one person who loved me fully & completely. Why would you choose to receive…

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About dave94015

interested in alternative relationships, visual artist, erotic romance writer and reviewer of erotica, drug rehab clinic intern - early 30's
This entry was posted in polyamory and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Can you have Polyamory in a BDSM relationship?

  1. kinklearner says:

    Poly is something i was searching alot in to as a lifestyler it is great to know different views and always feels good in learning something new

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