Domestic Service: Scene versus Reality

Why domestic service isn’t an arousing activity for a submissive but they do it anyway

A guy can learn how to the laundry

In Jeffrey Bernstein Ph.D. 

Men: Help Out Around the House—Without First Being Asked

Doing domestic, caring acts around the house releases a chemical called oxytocin in both of you. Oxytocin is the “love hormone” that also acts as a neurotransmitter. When you demonstrate your caring to your wife or girlfriend, this releases nature‘s aphrodisiac. …

being domestically attentive to the woman in your life goes a long way toward fostering feelings of love for you. 

In a BDSM relationship, a submissive’s attentiveness to his dominant will help foster her feelings of dominance for him 


a ‘service submissive’ [is] someone who offers domestic services (or sometimes other useful services) for their own sake, because they get something out of doing it for a dominant…

[a dominant] will introduce some minor protocol, give clear instructions, provide guidance, correct where necessary, and show appreciation for the effort from a dominant perspective. .. there is a dominant energy that communicates ‘I *see* you, I appreciate you, I enjoy you *as a submissive man* doing this for me’ … I expect to feel that submissive energy from him, a desire to please, to get it right, to do the best job he can, to feel as if it’s a personal service

 If you’re a male person on this end of the leash what you want to do is fulfill your calling to serve, and the tangible “proof” of that is appreciation from the party of the [dominant]; in a “pure” service interaction or a full-time M/s marriage.

In the following post  Silken Claws  

discusses how her pet has a genuine intention to serve [her] in all he does, and the fact that he puts his service to [her] ahead of his own wants every single day

Silken Claws

Many a time when I have mentioned to someone (that someone usually being a potential sub) that I live in a 24/7 dynamic, the conversation has invariably gone something like this:

‘Oh, you have a live-in? What does he do?’
‘Well, he doesn’t do anything else but serve me.’
‘So, he stays at home all day?’
‘Like, in bondage?’
‘No, that would be highly impractical, given he does all the household jobs.’
‘Oh, I’m so jealous, that sounds so hot.’

What they have in mind when they say that, in my experience, is a usually vauge fantasy about some permanently leather-clad dominatrix type following them around with a crop whilst they are ordered to do some dusting or something equally inconsequential, before being ‘forced’ to give oral sex. Unfortunately for them, the reality of ‘true’ domestic service is absolutely nothing like that.

The reality, to put it plainly, is…

View original post 245 more words

About dave94015

interested in alternative relationships, visual artist, erotic romance writer and reviewer of erotica, drug rehab clinic intern - early 30's
This entry was posted in bdsm, domestic-discipline, relationships, submission. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Domestic Service: Scene versus Reality

  1. It is well said but I feel the satisfaction of the servent gets

    • dave94015 says:

      How are you satisfied? with respect to pleasing your partner or doing the job well? or some other way? At first, I felt a sense of satisfaction from getting things done right and avoiding additional training (really punishment). Now I’ve come to realize another benefit: it keeps harmony in our family and we feel a little bit happier.

      • I find it very rewarding to complete my chores I’m very open to what dissatisfied a dom or mistress but when I ask if it’s possible to wear female clothes while they are gone I’m told to leave

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