Why are guys interested in orally servicing their partner in a #FLR but women are disinterested – despite the benefits?


For many, cunnilingus is regarded as still a sign of masculine weakness.

In this post   about the history of cunnilingus,  Whores of Yore  

remarks about the view of ancient Greeks that cunnilingus is

…generally regarded as something repugnant, used only by lesbians, and weak men whose erection had failed them. The fear that the penis is being replaced, or is not ‘enough’, is palpable.


post I Don’t Like Receiving Oral Sex, and There’s Not a Damn Thing Wrong With That

[traditionally] oral sex was typically considered downright kinky, and doing it carried a lot of emotional baggage and moral hang-ups.

But even with guys who [were experienced], I never really felt much of anything. It was an experience roughly as stimulating and erotic as having my elbow skin methodically licked. It didn’t bother me or feel bad, but it was not the paradise my adolescent self had been promised in romance novels, feminist sexuality tracts

The opinions on what, exactly, is wrong with you vary: You’re either too uptight about sex and embarrassed about your body to enjoy it properly; you’re frigid (as recently as 2000, you could write an article about cunnilingus for a major website that put down women who were reluctant to engage in it as outdated prudes); or, most popularly, “no one’s done it right to you yet.” Worst of all, some partners have assumed that I’m covertly critiquing their oral sex style, and when I say that I don’t like oral sex, what I mean is that I don’t like receiving oral sex from them.

[I] have a voice in the back of my head that tells me that maybe I just haven’t had the “right” oral sex yet. But that feeling is rooted in the shame that society puts on women — that there’s something wrong with you if you don’t have sex the way you’re told that women are supposed to have sex.


In Amanda Chatel, ‘s piece: Not All Women Like Oral Sex, And This Is Why

When I got to college and started hooking up with more guys — guys who actually loved giving head — I still remained anti-oral. Having already decided my vagina was a place where no tongue or mouth should go, I talked my way out of it as much as possible.

From insecurities about their vagina to body issues to just a simple lack of interest, some women just don’t want their partner, whether they’re male or female, face-to-face with that part of their body. It takes different things to get people off, and frankly, some of us ladies just don’t put having our lady bits licked and nibbled that high on our list.



Many women still refuse the opportunity to capitalize on getting orally serviced in an #FLR. One of the main attractions to a #FLR is that the woman controls the sex. If she wants cunnilingus, she can expect and get it from her submissive partner.

In  How to Become a Cunnilingus Master 

Vanessa Marin writes:

Cunnilingus has an undeserved reputation of being one of the trickiest sexual acts to perform well. I think this characterization is grounded in cultural judgments of women’s genitals as being “complicated” and “mysterious”. Let’s lay this unfair reputation to rest with some straightforward advice on performing some awesome cunnilingus.

Check out:

No-brainier about a Femdom Wife led marriage and Oral Sex — A Femdom Wife’s Life

Here is a link to this post


Here is a no-brainier about a Femdom Wife led marriage. Besides many other benefits like financial security, no arguments, a partner that does 100 percent of the joint choirs and duties, etc. is the sex. Since my last post I have received a mountain of e-mail regarding oral sex, the receiving of it as a […]

via No-brainier about a Femdom Wife led marriage and Oral Sex — A Femdom Wife’s Life

About dave94015

interested in alternative relationships, visual artist, erotic romance writer and reviewer of erotica, drug rehab clinic intern - early 30's
This entry was posted in cunnilingus, femdom, flr and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Why are guys interested in orally servicing their partner in a #FLR but women are disinterested – despite the benefits?

  1. Hi Dave:
    Thank you for posting:
    I think if men would only slow down, talk to their woman and allow Her as much time as She needs to orgasm more men would understand how to take care of Her needs.
    This is where Femdom comes in. Any good sub knows its only about satisfying his Dom. I believe any sub can be trained to be nothing more then an orgasm provider for her. So I think a big part of the problem is Women them selves, if they allow a crappy oral session then its on them..

    • dave94015 says:

      Hello Dorinda – thanks for your direct statement about the joys of oral sex. Many women I have talked to can’t even approach the subject of their needs. With your example, maybe they’ll be more out front about what they expect from their partner.

  2. ahuizotled says:

    It’s funny about the idea of macho-ism and the men fearing the tongue will replace the penis and its why they won’t do oral (if even it was only a belief years ago).
    My wife’s previous boyfriend/bull got upset when he found out that she had vibrators. He went so far as to tell her that she wasn’t allowed to use them. He said that whenever she wanted sex she should have him come over immediately.

    I guess, maybe, being a submissive and a cuckold makes the idea of jealous quite amusing. That a big, strong, sexy man could be jealous over an inanimate object makes me laugh a little. So the idea that a man would be jealous that someone’s tongue could out do a long thick cock is quite funny.

    • dave94015 says:

      macho guys are getting defensive lately because, in part, women expect more than dick from them. They were raised with the belief that lots of cock banging is all that’s necessary to keep their woman satisfied and now they’re challenged…but they are reluctant to change their ways.

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