What if you refuse to go further? I don’t mean a sub with a bratty tease. I mean you just can’t take any more of the FLR! This post is not intended to get you back on the horse and take your licks. While some dominatrices have this view, it is not shared by most couples who have a FLR.
But first, lets look at what a traditional Domme would say.
In WHEN YOUR SUBMISSIVE SAYS ‘NO’
Ferns answers this reader’s question
When I develop an idea of what to do with him and how to fuck with his mind, and if then…the man does not obey.
Her advice:
1. Build the relationship you want. This takes time and work, but you have to, really.
2. Make expectations clear. Have clear expectations from the start so that he knows what saying ‘no’ means for the dynamic.
3. Clarify. IF he says ‘no’, clarify that he understands that this is serious, and make sure you understand what is going on just in case you have missed something
4. Discuss/Reassess. Calmly talk about it, reset expectations if you need to, and be prepared to keep your core requirements for the relationship intact.
https://www.domme-chronicles.com/2011/11/when-your-submissive-says-no
If you unwittingly (like you were too horny one night) agree to a FLR that has a penalty for saying ‘no’, then you’re stuck unless you can renegotiate your terms. She does suggest: “reset expectations if you need to, and be prepared to keep your core requirements for the relationship intact”. Does that mean ‘no’ is acceptable? Or does ‘no’ violate your partner’s ‘core requirements’? If not, You may need a lawyer (ugh!) or kiss this relationship goodbye.
Word to the wise (guys) – don’t follow your dick when you agree to a relationship!
I see relationships as a transaction [this is similar but not the same as Transactional Analysis] . You sub to your dominant in the way she likes and she gives you a reward if she’s satisfied. She’ll say: “sweety, clean the kitchen and make dinner and I’ll have something special for you after”. Unless you get off on serving your domme all the time, you do what she wants for the reward you’re expecting.
Check out this real life FLR: Dominatrix reveals she has two live-in male sex slaves who spend every hour of the day waiting on her hand and foot
Dahlia Rain, from New Jersey, shares her home with the men who cook, clean, tidy, buy groceries, and walk the dog in return for “rewards” of the BDSM kind.
As reward for serving Dahlia, the subs receive BDSM punishments, such as being bound, gagged and whipped.
Dahlia said: “Play is always a reward for them, but they have to earn it – it’s not easy.”
John, Dahlia and Fluffy, right, first met six years ago at a fetish party in New York City, and quickly became friends before entering into a dom/sub relationship.
dave94015 