A bi-guys guide to finding a date: the oral test


A bi guy might be up for a date from either sex but eventually, he finds that most binary people (either straight or gay) are not interested in a date with him. Here’s a simple test to ferret out those binary folks.

If you’re chatting with a woman and she asks what other things you’re interested in tell her you like to suck cock. If she says “I would never kiss a guy who sucks another guy’s dick” then you swipe reject.

With a guy, if he asks about your other interests, tell him you like to lick pussy. If he says: “ew, I wouldn’t put my tongue in a woman’s pussy” then you swipe reject.

Why is this? Most binary people only consider doing things that are pleasurable to them. If you’re open about sexuality, you try to do things that are pleasurable to your partner (even if it isn’t pleasurable to you). I don’t suggest that all bi guys are open about doing things but they have to be a bit more flexible if they want to satisfy their lust for either gender.

Another thing I’ve come to notice about binary people is that straights are merely curious about your bisexuality (“tell me more about yourself”, “where are you on the Kinsey scale”, “do you sleep around a lot?”, etc.). At it’s worst, straights think you are promiscuous and play around too much. Straight women view a guy’s bisexuality as a ‘deal-breaker’ and think you can’t be relied upon.

In What It’s Really Like for Women to Date Bisexual Men

[women] would receive very abusive, spiteful comments about [their bisexual] relationship, like: “You can’t trust [him],” or “There’s no real thing such as bisexuality.”

In What it’s like for women to date bisexual men A research study by Dr Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli, Senior Lecturer in Social Diversity in Health and Education at Deakin University and the co-author of the book Women in Relationships with Bisexual Men found 

by seeing bisexuality as a deal-breaker, heterosexual women might not only be unwittingly dodging perfectly decent partners, but the best. Research has found that men who are bisexual – and feel comfortable being out – are better in bed – and the relationship develops – more caring long-term partners and fathers. Some women who took part in an Australian study even said they would never be able to go back to dating straight men at all. It turned out that straight men were the ones with more emotional and misogynistic baggage.

[bi guys] were far more aware of sexual diversity and desire, [and] were more willing to engage in less heteronormative sexual acts, such as liking anal penetration by their women partners. They were also up to explore novel sexual acts. Many women found themselves exploring BDSM, polyamory, and were themselves encouraged to explore same-sex relationships.

We had some women who said that after dating a bi man, they could never go back to dating a straight man.”


How gay guys see bi-guys.

Gay men think you’re just dabbling about coming out and insincere. Most of the media about bi-guys suggests that they are really gay but haven’t come out yet (check out the video below).

Fortunately, most gay guys will consider having sex with a bi-guy if he’s hot. They may put you in their contacts as a fuck buddy. Some gay guys will say they don’t mind fucking a bi-guy but kissing him is another matter. Maybe that’s the line between a romantic relationship and just sex? Having a fuck-buddy is a way to get out of the relationship if you find you can’t dig the guy. Or, if you’re really drunk and don’t care, who you gonna call?

Stigma against women who date bi-guys.

If a woman couples with a bi guy, she may find it difficult to find acceptance in either the straight or gay community.

Some couples found that while their relationship was stable, that they struggled to find acceptance in others.

“Some bi men and their partners felt they no longer belonged and were discriminated against by gay men and lesbians. Some women who had been loved by gay men were now hearing comments like, ‘You’d better lock your boyfriends away, the female predator is here’,” says  Dr Pallotta-Chiarolli.



Couples who want a bi-guy for a threesome.

Most male-dominated couples prefer a female unicorn, but many women prefer another guy in a threesome. Usually they will accede to the male, especially if he has strong homophobia. But bi-couples may appreciate having a versatile male in a threesome as an alternative to the traditional unicorn setup.



In What do men get out of a guy-guy-girl threesome?

Regardless of the gender of the other person involved, the straight men still get to bang a hot chick….[why?]  because they can. Some people are in it for the thrill, the taboo, or simply to fulfill a fantasy for their partner, in the case of a coupled threesome. Ergonomically speaking, there’s a lot more you can do with three people: more stimulation, more positions, and let’s not forget the ever popular double penetration move…”It’s basically just all about putting attention on the girl. The other guy knew I was bi, but I knew he wasn’t and didn’t want to do anything funky so I just didn’t do anything with him.”

When I get checked out for a threesome with a couple, I’ll first determine that both partners are open minded (using my oral test above). It’s not necessarily a deal-breaker if one isn’t, but you have to modify your activities. Most guys in a threesome shy away from gay sex except possibly a blowjob. Still this can be a hot thing to do after penetration!

When you’re screening a couple, you must determine if they want double penetration (DP). Most guys have seen it in porn flicks and figure it’s hot. Most women are afraid of it.

The centerpiece of many MMF threesomes is the double penetration (DP), but it has issues

  • [the guy’s] penises have to be awfully close. For some guys this is a deal breaker. They will definitely be able to feel each other through the thin wall of flesh. This can also be a deal breaker. But this can be super hot if both guys are bi!
  • The positions that allow a DP aren’t as easy as they look in porn. They can be very physically strenuous for one of both guys. Most DP scenes require multiple takes if only because they don’t last long.


Bi guys in the BDSM community.

Fortunately the GLBTQ BDSM community is mostly accepting of a wide range of fetishes. Bisexuality is sometimes thought of as a fetish. In a femdom scene, forcing the sub to suck off a guy is a form of humiliation, especially if he is homophobic. If he’s bi, it’s a big turnon for both the dominant and submissive. I get a lot of calls for these kind of scenes. Usually the Domme wants a male dom to top her sub while she torments him. I’m reluctant to get into these situations if the guy is a virgin because it’s a kind of rape. I have to make sure the guy really consents to what will happen in the scene.

Bi guys in the leather community.

If you attend any of our leather streetfairs you’ll find a fair number of guys are bi. They like women, especially women into leather. But they prefer leather Doms for scenes because of the masculine thing. Most will say they’re only into the leather scene and not into the gay culture.

Take my friend Pete for instance. A few years ago he was tight with his high school girlfriend, Louise. When he went to college he went out for wrestling and discovered guys have a lot to offer. He moved in with his current partner, Larry, and got into leather. (Louise and he are still FWB’s). “When I was in high school I liked guys who were into sports but was afraid about being called a fag,” he told me recently, “and now I’m into bdsm and like domming my partner. Neither of us considers ourselves gay. Larry’s got a girlfriend who likes to watch us first before we do her. Sometimes we have a threesome and he’ll eat creampie. We also do snowballing.”




About dave94015

interested in alternative relationships, visual artist, erotic romance writer and reviewer of erotica, drug rehab clinic intern - early 30's
This entry was posted in bisexual, dating, snowball and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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