To understand how a domme thinks in a femdom relationship, follow The Black Queen (@dannae_dann) on Twitter and other social media. In this post she reflects on her inner demons that she can channel to dominate her submissive. The bruises he receives from her impact play is her essence that will be forever imprinted on his submissive soul.
The Black Queen:
The Black Queen frequently explains the deeper meaning of the power exchange between dominant and submissive and how pain makes a deeper impact of it on participants.
In an article by Michael Castleman M.A.
media BDSM has grossly distorted the pain that submissives experience. It’s more theatrical than real. When performed by ethical, nurturing dominants (“doms” or “tops, ), BDSM is never abusive.
“It’s always consensual,” says Jay Wiseman, author of SM 101. “Abuse is not.” You don’t need restraints, gags, or whips to abuse someone. In loving hands, the equipment heightens sensual excitement, allowing both players to enjoy their interaction, or “scene,” as good, clean, erotic fun.” When BDSM inflicts real pain, it’s always carefully controlled with the submissive (“sub” or “bottom”) specifying limits clearly beforehand.
what kind of person feels sexually aroused by pain? Many people who are perfectly normal in every other respect…Subs are very particular about the kinds of pain—many prefer to call it intense sensation—that bring them pleasure. “They experience the pain of bee stings or a punch in the face exactly like anyone else,” Wiseman says, “and dislike it just as much.”
In Dominant Submissive Relationship
it may even be difficult to seamlessly attract a trustworthy partner who is willing & capable to accept the Dominant position. We have all been, rightfully trained to treat each other as equals. However, if your partner desires to live in sub space, you are being allowed the control. There is a big difference between giving & taking the control. Once given the control, take it.
There is COMPLETE trust with a Dominant partner so there is freedom. It’s like being entangled in a secure web. One is controlled yet able to lay back freely in it. All there is to do is to show up, listen in the moment & be of service. This is someone who cares about you & would never harm you. You care about them so much all you want is for them to be pleased. The inverse is also true. Communication is a must. Discussions around boundaries is a must. The use of safe words or simply No is a must. Parameters set, release can be met. One is given the non judgmental space to be submissive. They are given the same to be Dominant. Finally… Yes, even strong, smart, confident, independent people can desire to be submissive.
dave94015 