Why does your domme want to be on top?


Sometimes the role of a female dominant isn’t donning fetish gear and wielding a whip…it’s deciding who’ll be on top when she wants to fuck.

Here are a few excerpts from Filthy ones’ Fucking in the heatwave, and trying to ‘be more domme’

He doesn’t often ask me to be dominant, which is lucky because I’m not exactly a natural. But earlier in the week he’d asked me if I could ‘be more Domme’ sometimes. And that day his cock was so firm and satisfying, and he was so drowsily lazy, that I suddenly felt like I wanted to take control.

Be more domme. Be more domme. Be more domme.

“No. Stay still,” I order, and then grab both his wrists and pin them behind his head, maintaining eye contact and the steady, wet grind of my clit against his cock. Harder now, clamping it tight between my cunt and his hipbone. Rubbing myself on it in smooth, tingling strokes – taking my time. Making everything slick and wet before I even think about sitting on it fully. I can feel him trembling, wanting to push back against me, but I order him again to stay still.

“Does that hurt?” He nods, yes, and so I pause. But when I’ve given him the chance to nuzzle my tits a little more, his cock twitches and he offers a meek “please keep going though…”

And NOW I feel more domme.

Why do women prefer being on top? From 5 Things to Know if You Want to Make On-Top Sex SO Much Better

“You have more control over the speed, angle, and intensity, so it makes it easier to keep it at a rhythm that’s really doing it for you. Your vulva and clitoris are also very accessible, and the vast majority of women find intercourse much more pleasurable if they are also stroking or being stroked in this area”

“Sex is very psychological, and for women to experience their deepest orgasms, there are parts of their brain that need to go silent that have to do with judgment and control,” says Layla Martin, sexpert extraordinaire and author of Wild Woman in the Bedroom. “When you’re on your back, you might actually be more caught up in your head but when you’re on top, you’re forced to concentrate more on the physical act, which can help you really let go.”

Not all women know how to top a guy. From a man’s perspective as told to a sexologist:

One significant point which was highlighted by a number of the men I spoke to was that a woman might look great on top, and that might be a massive turn on, but if they don’t really know how to ride a guy, then the guy isn’t going to receive much physical stimulation from this position at all.

[guys] get more physical stimulation when the girl bounces up and down so that the length of the penis gets friction and the sensitive head pops in and out of the vagina, building him towards his climax…

Women…prefer to rock back and forth when on top because it allows for more clitoral stimulation, which makes it easier for them to build towards their own climax, and it is also a lot easier on the legs. Men have complained that this movement doesn’t actually do much for them, though, and … it can even be quite uncomfortable or hurt.

if [a woman] enjoys being on top and she wants her man to get as much physical pleasure out of it as her, then focus on achieving a healthy balance of both techniques, and if you feel like your legs are giving up on you, then the other option is to keep fairly still and allow your man to move you up and down, or alternatively he can hold your hips and thrust up against you.

Here are some examples of women topping their man:




If you don’t know what to do when she wants to top you, check this out:

When a woman’s on top, she can take full control of the rhythm and speed of sex — which may just help you last longer in bed.

Things you can do:

  • 1. Lend a Hand  if you’re using a condom, hold the base to make sure that it stays on
  • 2. Let Her Know How Much You’re Loving It – look at her like you’re really enjoying what you’re seeing…tell her that she is hot, or beautiful, or sexy
  • 3. Help Set the Pace – use your hands around her hips or her torso to help guide her to a pace and rhythm that feel good for you
  • 4. Prioritize Her Pleasure – make sure to spend enough time doing what feels good to her so that she also has her orgasm


Here are some additional tips for women who top:

Variety is key You are in control of both your own pleasure and his, so don’t be selfish, share it, and don’t be afraid to try or suggest something new.

Rotate your hips You can give and receive different kinds of sensations by stimulating different parts of his penis and your vagina. Try rotating your hips in a circular motion, or rock back and forth

Use your PC muscles you can use them to give your man extra pleasure while you are thrusting on top… when you use your PC muscles during sex it feels like you are gripping his dick from the inside as if you’re milking it, and the extra friction is arousing!


About dave94015

interested in alternative relationships, visual artist, erotic romance writer and reviewer of erotica, drug rehab clinic intern - early 30's
This entry was posted in bdsm-play, erotica, femdom, male, relationships, sex, submission, women, women-v-men, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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