Bondage in Femdom

 

Dominants and submissives will often use bondage in a #femdom scene.

 

KinoPayne

@KinoPayne : ” Arms above my head, standing on my tiptoes. So vulnerable, I think that’s why it’s a favorite pose of mine.”

A guy may be put in bondage if only because his female partner is physically weaker. Bondage can be more than something to endure. In this post, I present the more interesting kinds of bondage a guy can get into.

Although it is one of the letters of ‘BDSM’, bondage is often overlooked or considered an accessory for bdsm play. In Femdom, bondage is the primary gateway to lifestyle D/s .  For the dominant who doesn’t know what to do or lacks confidence, a little knowledge about rope bondage can get the game going. Tie up your partner with the simplest restraints he/she will tolerate. Start sensual play with their body and watch their reaction. The goal is to not go too far in the first few sessions but give them a chance to experience the sensation and become aroused.

For guys, allowing your partner to bind you is a way to restrain your ‘normal’ fight or flight responses to things you fear. The goal is to relax and begin to trust your partner.

Bondage can be an exciting experience by itself.

How do you get started with your partner?

In  ‘  Want to tie up your partner? Here’s how to tell them

For a lot of people, bringing up the introduction of bondage, even light and playful forays with silk rope and luxurious blindfolds, can seem a daunting task…

Breaking that shell of worry and speculated fear can often be the hardest part of the entire experience. Confidence is important, especially with someone you love and trust. When bringing up the subject of bondage, you are literally asking someone to give you their trust, their freedom, and potentially their idea of safety in exchange for sensual/sexual pleasure, power-play, and a possible re-evaluation of your own relationship. By asking someone you care about to let you dominate them, even in the most respectful and safe of ways, you are asking for their trust, and showing that you feel you’ve earned the right to explore it.

[rope bondage is] really just another part of being intimate, and it’s one way that many prospective partners are more than willing to experiment with. So, bring it up that way. Be open about what you want to do, and why you want to do it. You’ll be surprised how easy being straightforward can be.

While it is just part of foreplay, it still carries powerful connotations of dominancesubmission, loss of freedom, and the potential for pain…You need to take that first session slowly, and be mindful of your partner

When it comes to introducing something like bondage into a relationship, all you can do is ask, listen to your partner and perform alongside what they want. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work…you are asking them to open up to another world, one that has significance to you. You respect them enough to ask if they want to be part of it. That goes a long way in establishing the trust necessary to create something beautiful.

 

Here are some common terms.

from Kayla Lord’s: 10 Bondage Terms You Should Know

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Rigger Lucas

Rigger – controls the rope. Could be the top or a dominant in a D/s scene. Look for riggers with the most experience to get you in and out of rope bondage.

In Mr BLK’s Five Myths About…Riggers :

1. Only straight, cis males are bondage riggers

soccer moms, trans women, queer bois and people with physical limitations who all were dedicated, talented riggers. Groups such as Hitchin Bitches are for riggers that identify as female…rope (and rigging) is for everyone.

2. The best bondage riggers only do suspensions

Many of the world’s top rope artists only do suspensions sparingly, stressing that the tie must have an intended purpose…Good riggers are diligent about safety, attentive while working with bottoms, can compensate for changes in a scene and practice informed consent

3. Every Bondage Rigging Scene is Sexual

sex isn’t the sole purpose of [rope] bondage…attentive rigging can make sex downright impractical

4. All Riggers are Dominants

Rigging is the practice of “giving” rope, the bottom is receiving…the process of giving rope is contingent upon how the bottom receives the bondage

5. Riggers do all the work in rope scenes 

In receiving rope, bottoms mitigate the physical, mental and emotional aspects of a scene. A good bottom elevates a rope scene and makes their rigger better

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Rope Bunny – This is the person who’s being tied up/down by their rigger. Many dominant women are also rope bunnies.

From Raven’s post: “My First Experience as a Rope Bunny

I loved the feeling of the rope. I loved the way V tied me up and the way she repositioned me so she could tie the other leg too. I loved the music in the background.

I was on a happy, little cloud, but I was still aware, if only barely. I can remember hearing people talk, but not what they talked about…it was a bit like a deep mediation combined with a good, warm massage

 

shib2

Rope Bondage – rope is used by the rigger to bind their partner. There are many kinds of rope with different feel and effects.

Techniques in rope bondage include rope wrapping, where the rope is wound around a bottom’s body; rope weaving, which is more complicated and can include wrapping; and a double rope technique which involves two ropes. In basic rope bondage, any type of rope may be used from cotton to jute.

In  ‘ The Ins and Outs of Rope Bondage

One of the great things about rope bondage is that the building blocks you learn as a beginner never lose their usefulness. They simply become components of more advanced and complicated bondage. One of the basic building blocks for almost any kind of rope bondage is the single column tie. A column is any part of the body. It’s commonly a wrist or ankle, but it could also be a torso, etc. You can use the single column tie to bind your partner to the four corners of the bed or to bind one part of the body to another; wrist to ankle, for example.

 

 

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Shibari – is traditionally an aesthetic bondage.

In Esinem’s Psychology of Bondage: why do people do it

Rope bondage, especially the Japanese form, Shibari, can be considered an art form. It can accentuate the beauty of the human body. The results can be stunning, a fact appreciated not only by the Dom and sub, but also by any spectators.

The bondage itself can be used as a tool of control. The rope, particularly junctions or knots on the back and chest, can make great ‘handles’ that allow a sub to be controlled in a very dominant manner.

 

In SHIBARI: A COUPLE EXPLAIN THE APPEAL OF JAPANESE ROPE BONDAGE , Bruce, a participant says:

I’d describe it as aerial tango, done with flow and passion. When people put their heart and soul into it – well, I’ve seen people in tears after being tied. They say, ‘I’ve no idea why I’m crying, I’m just so happy.’ It unblocks some emotional dam.”

…Some people say it has a meditative effect…It silences the chatter of the everyday.

 

kin5

Kinbaku – erotic bondage

In Psychology of Bondage: Why do people do it?  Reba writes:

The ropes can be used to caress, during tying or untying, when they are drawn across the body and, in particular, the more sensitive areas. It can be used to cover the whole spectrum from pleasure to pain. Frayed ends of ropes can be used to stroke and tickle. One or more strands of rope can provide quite an effective makeshift whip.
Breast and genital bondage increases sensitivity, to pleasure and pain, by pulling the skin tight. It also tends to present the target of your attentions quite prominently and conveniently.

The placement of knots can cause direct stimulation of the clitoris, perineum, anus etc. This occurs either through simple pressure or through movement. Gently twisting, pulling or tapping on strategic ropes allows you to provide your own input. You’ll soon notice which particular knots are favourites to struggle against. Applying a vibrator to the ropes or knots can really boost the effect. The surprise is that using a vibrator on seemingly innocuous places can have dramatic results, since rope transmits vibration extremely well.

 

Suspension

Suspension Bondage – The bottom is suspended either completely or partially from a suspension bar with rope

Riggers should have plenty of experience before attempting such an advanced bondage technique. It’s important to know how to tie weight-bearing knots and take greater precautions to prevent loss of circulation during the scene.

There is a learning curve to suspension as Shay Tiziano   tweets:

I thought suspension was supposed to be super comfy, & felt like a bad rope bottom when I couldn’t handle it & had to come down quickly. I wish I’d been told that I could build up tolerance over time & experience, & that it normally involves “intense sensation” aka “not comfy”

 

Breast-Bondage-1

Breast Bondage – uses a rope harness to accentuate and bring focus to a woman’s breasts.

The breasts are displayed prominently and are made easier to access for sexual and/or sadomasochistic pleasure – think flogging, pinching, and smacking. ..cutting off circulation is a dangerous practice in rope bondage and should be avoided at all costs

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Hogtie – binds a person’s hands behind their back and to their ankles

In Hogtie – Personal experiences Stani writes:

I need to be tied up properly, as I do make an effort to escape …and it is no fun if I succeed… completely blind, gagged and helpless, I can do no more than roll around on the bed until my captor chooses to release me. Whatever my captor wants to do, tease me, put on nipple clamps, pull down my briefs or just leave me alone with my thoughts, I can do absolutely nothing about it, not even complain…I have no idea of the passage of time so until I am released, I do not know how long I have been there.

 

crotch2

Crotch Rope – In women, a rope is pulled between the labia to apply pressure to the genitals. A knot is often used to apply strategic pressure or friction on the clitoris. For men, the rope is used to place pressure on the scrotum or to bind the scrotum.

In How to Do Shibari :

The concept of building up knots to stimulate pressure points on the anatomy is derived from shiatsu, an eastern massage technique. The skilled individual uses his knowledge of massage and pressure points to get those thick knots in just the right places.The  pressure of built up knots against the vagina, anus, or base of the scrotum contributes to the power of the crotch rope

 

Predicament-bondage-isometric-position-1

@mistressEzzada

Predicament Bondage – The bottom or submissive is given a choice between two “bad” options and forced to maintain a position or hold a stance, knowing if they stumble, they will be subjected to one of the “tortures.”

In BDSM 101–Predicament Bondage Zandrock writes:

Think of predicament bondage as choosing between a rock and a hard place. It is where you are given two choices, but neither choice is fun. This fits into both the B/D and D/S and S/M portions of BDSM. There is obviously bondage, normally the scenario excites both parties because they feel either very in control or very out of control, and then finally there is a pain aspect (normally) so sadism and masochism are a part of it as well.

predicament bondage can turn from pleasant to unpleasant quite quickly, so you should never leave your partner alone. They should always be under the top/dominant’s supervision while the bondage is taking place.

 

sex-r2

Sex Restraints – used to prevent one partner from moving or “escaping” while you tease, torment, and please the other. For those into more intense BDSM power exchanges, sex restraints can be used in erotic torture, Dominance and submission, and humiliation play.

In Wikiwand’s “Bondage“,

The main feature of sexual bondage is that it renders the restrained person vulnerable to a variety of sex acts. The restrained partner is dependent for their sexual satisfaction on the actions of their partner, who may treat the restrained partner as their sex object.

Benefits of Rope Bondage for Stress Reduction

In ‘s Can Bondage Play Reduce Anxiety?

The transformative effects of bondage are well known within the BDSM community. “We call it ‘rope space,’” says Roxie, who leads the New York chapter of Hitchin Bitches, a rope bondage group for women. Also called “subspace” or being “rope drunk,” submissives describe entering an altered state of consciousness in which one feels totally released from stress and present in the moment.

When you’re tied up it’s like you’re not responsible for anything else that happens and there’s a sense of freedom in that. It’s one of the few moments where I don’t have to worry about all of my responsibilities.

You’re put in a position where you don’t have control and that is actually pretty freeing. You can just relax and go with it.

 

For those who are new to rope-bondage or cannot find a partner, try a session in Bondage Therapy to see if you get any of the benefits mentioned.

Bondage Therapy

Bondage Therapy creates the conditions which allow a person to surrender, to trust, and to make themselves vulnerable to another human being

In using the body’s vulnerable position, it encourages the mind to follow suit. This leads to a vulnerability, or openness, of the mind. The person is in a highly receptive state. Subtly and powerfully, a person in that meditative state begins to allow many of the repressed thoughts, emotions, ideas and beliefs float up to the surface. It is precisely this shift, this movement, from the repressed, unconscious state to the seen, conscious state that allows for a powerful transformation.

…..

  : “Bondage is a wonderful tool to reduce the power that our repressed, unconscious has on us. Let’s not miss that opportunity by being quiet.”

“Meditative bondage is effective do to the fact that when the physical body is controlled the only agency one has is mental. Let go! Be free.”

Relationship Goals

subGuyComics

Rope-bondage doesn’t have to be too serious. Have fun!

subCpl4

Couples can add bondage to their sexual activity to spice it up

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Let your partner control you now and then

subCpl

Bondage can be a way to facilitate deeper communication

Future topics about other BDSM therapies.

7 Things You Didn’t Know About “Spanking Therapy”

There are many therapeutic benefits to spanking.

A submissive finds therapy, stress-relief, and a sense of calm through the relinquishment of their power. Giving someone total control over you transfers your worries and psychological burdens onto the other person. “Still others describe the stress release as an escape from self-awareness and compulsive thinking and processing of emotions,” says Pitagora.

She adds that practitioners of spanking describe it as an opportunity to enter into a consensual, time-bound interaction with someone they trust and feel close to, where they are free to let go and stop thinking about other things for a bit. “When body chemistry changes in a rush of pleasure and adrenaline, and then comes back down to baseline and levels out, that trajectory can result in a very calm and zen-like feeling.”

 

“SEX THERAPY CAN BE HELPFUL WITH: difficulty talking about sex and sexual preferences with your struggling with a issues with identity feelings of and fear about

About dave94015

interested in alternative relationships, visual artist, erotic romance writer and reviewer of erotica, drug rehab clinic intern - early 30's
This entry was posted in bdsm, bdsm-play, bondage, femdom, relationships, submission and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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