Sex and Candy – Thoughts on Sex and Femdom

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sex is like working at a candy store. When you start, you want to try everything but after a while, you’ve had your fill. My partner is disappointed when I don’t cum but I’m afraid to tell her that I had my big-o several sessions ago. I’m jaded because maybe it’s all the sex work that I do. Sex becomes a job. I like to do it not for my diminished pleasure but because it makes other people happy. Maybe their happiness will spill over into my mood. I look for more interesting activities to bind me to my partner. Of course, she’ll want sexual gratification but I just hope she’ll beat me into a frenzy and reawaken my dormant sexual desire and turn it into ecstatic arousal. Now we’re talking #bdsm.

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If it wasn’t for modern pharmaceuticals, I’m not sure I could make it through all the takes and long scenes in a porn movie.

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Many guys are terrified by the examples of femdom relationships. One Mistress whose name is a color talks about how she binds her sissified partner into sensory deprivation as her urine ice cubes slowly drip into his mouth.

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Is femdom/flr such a bad thing? The “lifestyle” promoters will say: “you must be ready for a lifetime of obedience and servitude“. What guy would sign on to that? In practice, flr is a relationship where you recognize your soon-to-be dominant is a leader in what is important for your relationship to her. You slowly acknowledge this by making life comfortable for her so she can lead you more. After a while, you know what she likes when you to serve her meals, where she likes you to take her, how she likes sex with you and so on. You “serve” her so much that it becomes natural. She’s pleased by how you treat her and that you aren’t expecting her to do something she doesn’t want to do.

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I admire and don’t mind submitting to my partner because of how she always “tops” me sexually and mentally. I can think and rethink things until I’m convinced I have it right but when I run it by her she’ll always suggest a better way to deal with it. It’s not that I’m poorly educated. I have a similar skill level as my other co-workers have in our social jobs. But my partner will see important things in relationships that I often overlook.

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Some guys just don’t know how to “play ball” with a dominant woman. I tell guys who worry that their relationship is on the rocks that maybe they should adjust to the power dynamic they have with their partner. Maybe she wants to dominate but she’s afraid to admit it. Maybe you want to submit to her but you’re afraid too. It doesn’t have to be anything more than just deciding who is leading in the relationship.

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At the bar, I like to socialize and flirt with women and guys who are very talkative about their feelings (usually gay guys). Often the flirting leads to unexpected conclusions. With a guy, a short trip to the back room might easily suffice. With women, they’re often disappointed when they realize they can’t be the only one in my life when I point to my other partners who are also working at the bar. I suggest a threesome with them if they’re just into women or a foursome if they’re bi. If they’re interested, we all meet and decide how this will work out. If they’re not, I’m usually in for some punishment from my dominant because I failed to bring in some fresh blood for their feast or just because my horniness must be tamed by a paddle or a whip.

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They say polyamory is just a cover for cheating but they got it wrong. Poly is putting out a lot of energy to keep a balance and harmony with all your partners. In a way, I’m trapped by the love my partners share with me. It’s not the worst that could happen.

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I  love what for me is the heightened sexual air that my two female partners seem to exude at home even if it is only directed to themselves. I’m often the third wheel when their passion is heating up but I’m happy to be that way because it’s far better than when they’re fighting. They will dismiss me as “just a guy” who couldn’t understand what they’re saying when they want their privacy in the master bedroom to resolve the conflict. Eventually, their mood changes for the better when I serve them their coffee and pastries in the morning. They thank me for keeping out of the fight and respect me as the humble servant I am to them. If I’m lucky, they’ll let me give them a blissette with their order. This simple ritual makes me feel like we’re family. I’m the little brother of my older sisters.

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About dave94015

interested in alternative relationships, visual artist, erotic romance writer and reviewer of erotica, drug rehab clinic intern - mid 20's
This entry was posted in bars, bdsm, bdsm-culture, bdsm-play, bdsm-psych, dating, femdom, flr, polyamory, relationships, sex, sex-work, threesome, women and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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