a post that discusses a common type of shaming in the #poly community…because polyamory will become the norm and male sexual jealousy will be treated as a moral failing? will “polyamory” be polygyny for many relationships?
[Epistemic status: trolling.]
One-penis policies are roundly condemned in the polyamory community. This article provides a fair sample of the common opinion: it’s homophobic, misogynistic, sex-negative, unfair, and a product of insecurity and toxic masculinity.
Now, it’s possible that I live in this wonderful bubble of people with healthy polyamory, but I’ve never actually met anyone with a one-penis policy. The amount of condemnation one-penis policies get seems entirely out of line with the number of men who actually get their partners to implement such a thing.
Furthermore, we clearly treat one-penis policies as a special case. In most aspects of polyamory, people adopt a nuanced position: while the ideal is for everyone to be comfortable with their partners’ other relationships, we accept that temporarily, while someone works on developing the skills necessary to deal with jealousy, they might accept certain reasonable limits. However, nobody says “well, it’s a bad idea…
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