some thoughts on going after someone you think might be really into you
I used to think I wanted to be his fetish.
I wanted him to be obsessed with me.
Now I’m glad he’s not.
I dated a guy in my old poly web who had clear preferences, and all of them definitely what I was not. My ex liked small-breasted women, preferably androgynous/butch and athletic. I stood in stark contrast to that – curvy, thick, femme. I salsa danced in high heels. I’d been butch in the past but never the trim Tasha Yar type that got him super hard.
I’d like to say that I dealt with this disparity well, that I took it as the highest compliment that he wanted to be with me and recognized my quality even though I wasn’t his usual “type”. But that would be a huge face-saving lie.
It totally ate at me.
It didn’t help that my hottest of hot-button fetish acts…
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