Can intimacy be separated from sex? Can one member of a couple want a polyamorous relationship and the other stay monogamous? Can people limit their polyamory to sex while preserving intimacy in their monogamous relationship?
Nikki_Blue said in a recent post:
as kinky as I am, I have pretty traditional views when it comes to monogamy…But part of what allows me the freedom to have so few limits with my boyfriend is knowing I’m the only one he’s intimate with. I see things differently now though. While intimacy and sex are often intertwined, they can also be separated entirely. And now that I understand this, I’m more secure in our relationship than ever
She goes on to point out that “I’m a one cock woman”.
I understand her mono position completely. It is often more common in women in men.
I’m not sure he wants more than permission to swing with others while supporting Bleu’s “one-cock” position. Can he have repeated sex with someone and not eventually become intimate with them?
I have nothing against swinging. I think swinging is common among couples who wish to preserve their monogamous status and both members of the couple are swinging with another couple (usually) at the same time. Blue’s bf wants to “swing” (i.e. have sex-only affair(s) with others) from time to time, but Bleu does not want to swing.
Some couples who are involved in kink can separate their bdsm relationship from sex-only relationships with others: “I don’t care if he has sex with her, but he will submit to me only”.
Usually conflicted relationships (one poly, one mono) are doomed to fail eventually. I wish them well.