Polyamorous relationships have a definite way of dealing with cheating. You may want to get involved with someone new in town. It’s only natural if you’re poly, right? Here’s the difference from mono relationships. In monogamy, cheating is cheating and is taboo. In open relationships, cheating is a failure to communicate to your partners what you want to do. You have to break through the cowardly B.S. and be up front with your intentions. You just may get what you want.
Getting everything you want starts with … asking.
You must first ask for what you want. That might be a most uncomfortable conversation.
…What you want isn’t what your partners may want….
And then from there … it’s their turn to ask.
Polyamorous moves on your part can often similar moves from your partner. You want to date him/her, I want to date someone too! Sometimes I think if my partners are playing around with someone new that it’s ok for me to play. I’m not sure if my motives are genuine when I am thinking my playing will make them jealous!
What I’d really like is for them to share their new playmate with me. But things don’t always work out that way. There are times when they prefer to share with another woman…and no men (including me). The way women love each other is different than how a man loves a woman (and not just the obvious sexual aspects). Women share emotional feelings that men are not attuned to. Sometimes I think they are talking about the most insignificant things, but they are (non-verbally) communicating emotions.
All of this can make for insecure nights when I’m sleeping alone and they’re in their room with a friend.
Tristan Taormino said in an interview :
I think that certainly people who are in open relationships are probably forced to confront feelings of jealousy and insecurity and fear on a regular basis, it’s built into it, ’cause there are people sort of constantly coming in and out of your life, new experiences, new people, new relationships
So be careful what you wish for. Your partner might tell you that s/he wants to date that new person (or someone else) too!