ResearchToBeDone said s/he is “uncomfortable” with monogamous couples:
It seems like in many ways the purpose of monogamous arrangements is to preserve the sense of intimacy and specialness of the relationship, and that means being careful not to let other relationships with people you’re attracted to become similarly special or intimate. That idea makes me incredibly uncomfortable
Well, it happens all the time. Especially when you’re invited to join a couple for play. There’s all that special knowledge they have about each other that lets one finish the sentences of the other. I often hear statements like: “we don’t do that“, or “we do it this way” – the imperial we that represents the couple’s rules of play.
When they do this, I take the cue that there is no long-term possibility of a deep relationship. I’m just there to spice up their love life. Doesn’t matter if they’re GLB or straight (“heteroflexible”), they want to preserve their monogamy for whatever reasons they have.
I take a pragmatic approach. I’m just there for fun, to enjoy the moment. I might feel a little disappointed when I sense that there is no future in us becoming three, but I’m having a great time.
I know this: if I refused to play with monogamists, I wouldn’t have nearly as many play partners!