s1.mOn posted in http://j.mp/SSXF44
We were discussing what to ask potential partners who may be new to polyamory.
A great first question to ask to whether or not they consider their date as cheating.
Another great question would be whether or not their other partner would consider what they’re doing as cheating.
I had a question about the post. Is the situation that of a partner in a poly family “dating” a potential candidate member of the group? Occasionally a partner in a poly family meets someone who might be a future member. Sometimes the meeting becomes a “date”; the two exchange intimate secrets and start an emotional attachment.
I have been occasionally screened by someone from a poly group to see if there was a “fit”. The screener made their intentions clear. We talked at length, learned intimate secrets about each other, tried a few things. I sometimes got to second base; they introduced me to the other members of their family. The topic of “cheating” didn’t come up as neither of us considered our date a cheat.
Maybe we should ask someone involved in or considering poly what their views on cheating are. Ideally, cheating shouldn’t exist in a poly relationship. In the real world, there are subtle shades of “naughty”. I know people in open-relationships who have friends with benefits.
Poly relationships seem to be an attempt to stabilize or make permanent casual friendships that we would like to have greater depth.